nobodysbishie | Showdown

Soon after giving Jubilee the place, Bishop blinked in.. He was careful to come to one of the spots where the AV field didn't cover, paid the violence tax and sat down. The gun in its holster dragged at his side, as now he pretty much felt that he was having a countdown to a well-earned execution.

He hoped she arrived soon.

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Jubilee did indeed arrive quickly after him, a small frown was on her face as she scanned the cafe until she located him. Taking a deep breath, Jubilee sauntered over to where Bishop sat, she looked at him and gave a shrug of her shoulders. "Hey. Thanks for agreeing to meet me."

He sighed and looked up at her.. it was surprising how shrunken he looked, almost as if he'd collapsed in on himself.

"Thanks for coming.. I suppose we should get this over with."

His voice sounds tired, raw.. He's far from the best of shape.

Jubilee now had a look of concern on her face, and she slid into a chair to look at him carefully. "You do not look all that hot...."

"Sorry..." she did not know what else to say.

"Not the problem, and should go away soon.." He shook his head bitterly, then looked her straight in the eye. "Matter of fact, should be done with pretty fast. At least, I hope you will."

"What should be done with pretty fast?"

And then he unstrapped and handed her the gun. "Make it quick, okay?"

In his mind, there didn't really need to be any more said.

Jubilee looked at the gun in her hands, then back up at him. There was a moment of shocked silence. Then she slapped him across the face, "Are you NUTZ?!? Come to your fucking senses. I am not doing that!"

Bishop just took it, face turned to the side but not even blinking. And then he turned towards her again, locking eyes once more. "It's what needs to be done."

Apparently they DO need to talk longer.

"Why?" Jubilee glared at him.

"First of all..." she piffed the gun, letting it explode in her hands.

"Secondly, you were LOL'd. You can not be blamed for what happened!!!"

"That was MY GUN!" He's glaring something FIERCE!

"And there's no excuse, Lee. There's NEVER any excuse! You give an inch and before you know it you're ten miles down a road you never meant to go. So if you don't have it in you, I'll do it myself if I have to!"

..At least he's looking a little more lively?

"You just asked me to kill you, what do you care what happens to your gun?"

She grabbed him by the shoulders, "was it really that bad that you do not remember anything? Was I really that horrible?"

"'S a good gun.." He mutters, looking away for a moment.

And then he looked right back, seeming tormented. "Dammit, Jubie.. I remember everything. And I gotta admit, part of me doesn't regret a damn thing.. Part of me wants to do it again. But that's just even more reason why this has to be done."

"You want me to kill you because a part of you doesn't regret it, and because a part of you wants to do it again?" Jubilee shakes him roughly.

"You know how fucking crazy that is?"

"What? I am not good enough to be with you? Is that it? You would rather die than risk it again?"

"I want you to kill me because it was fucking WRONG, and even though I know that it still happened.. and might happen again! You deserve better than some dirty old man, Jubie, and if I can't trust myself on something like this than YES, I deserve to die!"

He growls at her, voice raw and angry. "YOU are not the one at fault here, Jubilee. Get that through your head! This is MY fucking mistake, and YOU are the wronged party! THAT's why I'm here!"

"I do not think you are some dirty old man!" Jubilee shoved him hard against the booth.

"I did blame myself... but not anymore." Her eyes look soft, and she takes his hand, "and I do not blame you either."

"You should not blame yourself either, Bishop. It just... happened. We should just deal with it."

He has a passing thought that he's really glad that this place had serious privacy tricks..

"Not buying it, Jubes." His eyes went flinty, looking back at her. "It happened because I did it, and I'm not about to cop out. That's the fast path to a bad place; a man owns up to what he does."

"WE did it Bishop! I am not about you to keep you blaming yourself. If you think what we did is so wrong, we share the blame!"

"Besides, using a gun is taking the coward's way out. Is that what you have become? A COWARD!!!!!"

Oookay, she got him MAD now! He shot up, eyes ablaze and towering over her. "I'm blaming myself because I fucking tossed you over my shoulder and did this! MEA CULPA, DAMMIT!"

He's breathing hard, trying to force himself back to calm.. and so very not working. "What, it's somehow braver to use a knife? Or maybe I should just rip my own throat out. Be REAL brave then, wouldn't I!?"

He's not really sure where he's going with that, but he's angry enough that he's not making sense anymore.

Jubilee stood to face him, and pounded angrily on his chest with piffed hands. She knew that he could take it with his mutant ability, and she yelled at him.

"You would not know what BRAVE is!!! You are a fucking coward asking me to do this! You want me to kill you! Then what, Bishop, what?!? I am left ALONE! With the GUILT, the SHAME, and the knowledge that I KILLED you! Is that what you want? You get to escape the pain, the tough road ahead, and dump it all on me?!?"

"How fucking fair is that?"

"A BRAVE man would face this! He would DEAL with it. He would deal with the fact that he has wants and needs, and suffer the trails down the road ahead of him. He would be STRONG. Not asking some weak... scared... woman who he considers a girl... to bear all the guilt, and shame by herself." She is in tears now, but still hits him again.

And that? That just shut his rage down.

He stares at the woman hitting him for a few moments, putting his arms around her and pulling her to him; kinda odd, but it's often easier to hug someone when they're attacking. "You're right, Jubie, and I'm sorry.. I didn't think about it that way." He spoke gently, stroking her hair. "Kept thinking that when someone's the victim of a problem, they deserve to get back.. but didn't think about how you'd take it. 'M sorry, Jubes.." And he just held her.

There is another pound of her fists on his chest, but with him hugging her it does not have much effect. She is in full tears now, "you are a fucking jerk, you know that?". Then she lets herself cry in his arms, even moving her own arms around his waist to hold him to her.

"Fuck Bishop... I still mourn the loss of Everett and Angelo, and they were taken from me far too young. I could never take your life, I am sorry, but I just... that would just be wrong of me."

She sighed, letting herself calm down slightly in his arms even though there are still tears in her eyes. "And the worse of this all is... I am not even mad at you for what happened. You should know how I felt about you, you were forced to feel my emotions. And I... I just sort of thought it was something more than just a LOL. Gawd... I was so wrong. Bishop, I am sorry."

"I am sorry."

"Yeah, yeah I do.." He rubbed her back gently with a big hand, eyes troubled. "Right just ain't the same for different people, I guess.. And shoulda known you wouldn't have blamed me as much as I blamed myself. 'Sokay, Jubie.. Guess a good bit of it was that I just enjoyed it too much." He bent his head down, meaning to kiss her forehead.

"And you enjoying it is a bad thing? I still do not get..." she had about to say that when she had lifted her head to look at him, and their lips met.

And suddenly he finds himself kissing her for real, and it's just too easy to keep going on kissing her just like this..

A few moments later, he managed to muster up enough strength to break it off. "That's why, Jubie. That's why right there."

"Because you want to kiss me again?" Jubilee sighed.

She closed her eyes for a second, frowning, then softly pushed away from him. "The only one making this about the age factor is you, Lucas. And if you include dimensions and realities and all that, technically I am older than you. And it doesn't matter."

"I really do care for you."

She hung her head, "but I know that as long as you keep on looking at me as a child, and feel ashamed..." (her voice breaks) "...of being with me, and wanting to be with me... that there could never be anything real."

"And that is what I want in my life right now, a real relationship. There was a part of my that thought that maybe... heck it happened in one dimension why not again? But seeing your eyes after we... were intimate... remembering that look of shame and guilt."

"It hurts that you think you have to be punished because you were with me. Because you want to be with me again."

And he just looked at her.

"It just plain feels wrong. Unfair to you most of all; I'm an entire person who can drink older than you! And get into all that alternate reality crap, I'm two or three LIFETIMES older. You deserve someone your own age, not some crusty old fart; the feelings might be there, but I keep thinking that I'm taking advantage of you. You may not be a kid anymore, but you deserve someone who's got a whole lot more life to them."

He sighed. "Shit, maybe I just worry too much about what people'll say to you."

"I do not care what people will say. God damn it Lucas, do you even know how much older Logan is to Natasha. He saved her life when she was a child... there is a thirty year difference, and they still try to make it."

"You are not taking advantage of me. I do not think so."

She sighed, "but as long as you think so. We can be nothing more than friends. And that is just fine, staying your friend. Unless that makes you uncomfortable."

"Oh, come on!" Mild glare has returned. "Physically, he hasn't aged in the past forty years, and with all the mindwipes he's been through he's probably younger mentally. This is NOT the same, got it?"

And he pauses for a moment, looking at her.. REALLY looking, instead of seeing only what he expected. "You really don't, do you?"

"No it is not the same! But neither is it the same of the teacher taking advantage of a student situation you keep comparing us to!" Jubilee shook her head, angry at him. "I am no longer your student."

Softly, "and no... I don't." She takes a deep breath, and crosses the arms across her chest, "I... I enjoyed being with you Lucas. You were feeling my emotions, surely you would know that I... I wanted to be with you."

"Aren't you? Well, I guess not, at that.."

He mused, looking her into the eye. "Yeah, I get that.. but I need a little time to sort this shit out in my head, you know? We don't have to do-or-die right now, we've got the time. Can you work with that, Jubie?"

"Why do you think I am forcing you to decide now?" Jubilee sighed. "All that I need to know is that you are still not considering ending your life... that you will be okay."

"And if you need time... that is just fine with me."

"Some people just like their answers fast!" He raised an eyebrow. "'S okay, I've gotten over that part at least. You're your own person and guess that wasn't a case of rape.." He seems just a smidge unsure about that, but mostly clear.

He smiled gently, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "Thank you, Jubes. It really does help."

Jubilee gives him a small smile, and a hug. "Trust me Lucas, I do not let anyone touch me that I do not want to touch me. It wasn't rape."

"I am going to go now. Give you some time."

He hugged her back, a big hand gently rubbing between her shoulders.. Bishop gave really good hugs. "Yours is the opinion that counts, hon.. And talk to you later, kay?"

"My opinion is that I still think you are a good man, Lucas." Jubilee replied, returning the hug. "And yah, I will be around. Still your friend. Gotta look out for my friends."